Dumpster Fire

Oh man.... It's been a while. I keep writing half-posts and then abandoning them. Sometimes I think I know what I want to say, but then the words just kind of trail off and I lose my mojo and then everything's on fire and the post ends up in the draft heap.

Life has been a little bit crazy. I'll spare you all of the boring details, but we were swatted at home last Friday morning and things could have gone VERY badly if we hadn't previously warned the police department that it would probably happen at some point.

I know Cody is stressed about it, but he's more of the strong, silent type. I wear my every emotion (and there's a lot of them) on my sleeve...or both sleeves...and probably my pant legs, too. I've been kind of an anxious mess. I can't imagine being the type of person who thinks it's funny to put someone else's life and the lives of their family members at risk.

Since the swatting, there has been a lot of activity involving others threatening to do the same shit, threatening to do worse shit, or claiming to be involved in nefarious bullshit surrounding our family.

I'll say this, despite it already being said by Cody... Stay the fuck away from our family. Seriously, y'all. I don't care how old you are, if you're pink, blue, yellow, green, or every shade of the fucking rainbow. Just leave us be. We're human beings and we're just trying to live our lives like anyone else. We shouldn't have to worry that some shithead is going to take a "prank" too far and get one of us killed.

It's crazy to me that everyone is so divided right now, especially during a time when it's so important for us to come together. There's so much hatred and it's hard for anyone, really, but as someone who tends to absorb the emotions of the people around me, I find all of the negativity really exhausting.

I know a lot of people are thinking, "Just ignore the haters. Giving them attention makes it worse." But really, after ignoring 300 hateful or threatening messages, one of them is bound to solicit some kind of response, especially when the threat is brought to our literal doorstep.

Anyway, this is rambling, but my anxiety has been through the roof and this is kind of my place to vent.

What do y'all like to do when you're feeling anxious? I have the urge to paint something...or maybe put lots of colors in my hair. Until I figure it out, I'll be here arranging and rearranging my office because it's better to keep busy than dwell on the state of the universe right now.